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Quotations.
"I truly loved my wife, but she kept insisting on us getting marriage counseling. ...That's where I realized I loved myself more."  - Jack Benny
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"We are all broken, that's how the light gets in." — Ernest Hemingway
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"If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month."   - Theodore Roosevelt
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"My philosophy professor asked me, "Would you kill a child if necessary to save the world?" ...I told him I would kill him if he ever put that question in my head again."  -  Johnathan Winters
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"There is nothing permanent except change."  - Heraclitus  
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"Einstein said, "Everything is relative." ...Freud said, "Everything is about your relatives." - Ricky Gallaher 
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"I never wore a bra until my wife found one in my truck's glove box."  - Unknown comedian Confused (...cautionary wisdom hidden in humor.)
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"Education is not the learning of facts, but the training of minds to think"?  - Albert Einstein

The actual quote is:
“It is not so very important for a person to learn facts. For that, he does not really need a college. He can learn them from books.  The value of an education in a liberal arts college is not the learning of many facts, but the training of the mind to think something that cannot be learned from textbooks.”
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"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde
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"To love and to work."   - Sigmund Freud's pronouncement on what a psychologically healthy person should be able to do.
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